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So Badly
In the dark of night, with the rain falling down her face, she stares out of a
lone-lit bedroom window. She looks up to the stars, with rain on the window
tracing mirror images of the tears running down her face.
In the lamp light, on the street, staring back up to the window, I’m wishing all
my possible love to her soul. A serenade in silence as it will forever be from
now on. I can be here for you now only in shadow.
Take the things we took for granted and remember them for all that we knew. Long
love on hot summers days, we ran in fields of grass and laughter. I’d catch and
fall with you, roll in each other’s arms and share the spark in our eyes. It’s
the days that grew, seemingly endless, in memory and now, forever, they shall
be.
Kiss the kids "goodnight", keep them safe and warm. Let their dreams not be sad
but full of adventure that only a young soul can discover. It’s for them you
need to be strong and, if strength seeps out, then see my smile in them and let
it keep you walking. I’m only a step behind.
Play my voice message on the answering machine if it helps to be closer to the
echo. Smell the scent of my aftershave on my shirt collar if it helps the
psychical contact in your mind. Run your hands over the empty space where I lay
in bed but don’t stain your pillow in tears. I’m holding you even if you don’t
know it. If it helps, I love you …
And we won't mention his name, but he took all that we knew and ended it with
me.
It’s so beautiful here and it’s all we prayed for. I can see colours we never
knew existed and the love, oh, the brilliance. It creeps the slow pull towards
the tunnel of light and I’m beginning to rise past your window. I’m beginning to
see that without love we are autonomous and drone. I’m beginning to see my life
flash before my eyes, with six feet under at the end. I’m beginning to see that
what awaits is an infinite beauty.
I’m beginning to pass your window and I see the tears in your eyes and I know,
for all your pain, I can only watch and give signs 'till you’re here with me.
Have faith, like a warm blanket, and hope, like a beating heart. From the heavens
down, with a ghostly touch, I’ll do my best to comfort you.
It hurts my soul and I love you so badly.
Parting Handclasp, Goodbye Sweetheart Goodbye!
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