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Married and Loving It!

How to Have a Seriously Happy Marriage


The Six Essential Elements of a Seriously Happy Marriage

The six essential elements of any seriously happy marriage are:

  • Good Manners (Mutual Respect)

  • A Sense of Fun

  • Excellent Communication

  • Romance (Focused Thoughtfulness)

  • Great Sex

  • True Love

There is no particular order to this list.  Each of the six elements adds its own vitality and strength to a marriage, and is equally important to the success of a superb marriage.

Conversely, if any element is missing, then the amount of joy to be experienced in a marriage is lessened.

The Ingredients

Itís a bit like making the most delicious cake in the world, which just happens to need six vital ingredients.  Each part of the recipe adds its own goodness so that the less ingredients you have, the less likely you are to have the cake that will satisfy your deepest desire for delight.

Itís also a bit like a six-cylinder car. 

Clanking Or Cruising

A car will continue to run when some of its spark plugs are on the way out, or already gone, but the same car will become less and less reliable with less and less cylinders.

It is also true that if all of the six cylinders are functioning, your car will be much healthier.  And if all cylinders are in peak condition, you could have the ultimate ride.

But sometimes our cars are Not running on all six cylinders.

And sometimes our marriages are Not running on all six cylinders.  In fact, sometimes we might even be attempting to cruise along with only one marital cylinder still functioning.

Running On Empty

Or to use the cake analogy, we might be trying to nourish our marriages on only one ingredient.  We may be frantically trying to pretend that weíre eating our fill when all we have is a little good manners or leftover love.

Or put an other way, we have left the home and are determinedly swimming up denial.

Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.

Mark Twain (1835-1910)

Whoís Counting?

Couples tend to find that love, great sex and romance can fluctuate due to a variety of reasons ranging from hormones to in-laws to everything else.  So sometimes these elements of our relationship seem to be out of our control.  And sometimes theyíre outside of our desires and needs and skill-sets.

But we still have 3 left-over elements of a seriously happy marriage and, lucky for all of us, excellent communication, a sense of humour and good manners can very often float a couple through rough marital seas.

It is, of course, as equally true to say that love, great sex and romance can create and hold a couple together regardless of what-else is missing.

But either way, itís still only half a marriage.

Putting all six elements together means being serious about the happiness you want to experience in marriage.  You are, after all, creating a seriously happy marriage.

Marriage is like vitamins: we supplement each otherís minimum daily requirements.

Kathy Mohnke

So let's take a look at each of the six elements and how they can affect your life.

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The foregoing is excerpted from Married and Loving It! by Barbara Llewellyn with Rod Kirkham. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced without written permission from Bright Light Multimedia, Suite 143, 16 - 18 Beenleigh Redland Bay Rd, Loganholme, Queensland, Australia, 4129

Imprint: Bak2Bak Communications; ISBN: 0646395807; On Sale: Now; Format: Paperback;
Trimsize: 14.8 x 21 cms (5 3/4 x 8 1/4); Pages: 159; $15.50 USD


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